sb #3

Honestly I take a certain pride in being what I call “a living sacrifice”, pretty much like a “living deity”, but just with a different angle (call me big headed, I dare you) but you know whatever it takes to get thru’ the day is alright with me. No judgement. So I’m swanning around my bungalow like a faded film star, glory-ing in my trees out back, loving the Cote d’zuresque Marina at the bottom of my garden…..

seeing the divine Goddess within has helped me cope with the unjust affliction I am shouldering for the rest of humanity. And I know…. I’m not the only one.

I remember sitting in the car one day looking at all these amazing women who, unlike the adverts, don’t looked groomed and calm, funny and alluring. Out shopping , or picking up children, maybe strung out, or busily being perfect, working, cooking, cleaning and nurturing anyone, but developing tics and other leakages of stress, ahh…. stress that monster in disguise. Ill, overweight, underweight, bit of both at the same time and everything in between. Pretty much me 20 years ago,” bringing up baby”, and the divine comedy being played out is our invisibility, our low status, our vulnerability, victims of violence and sexual predation.

imagine if you will just for one moment a world where we were appreciated and respected, nee worshipped for the magic and power we bring to the table. Where a rape or threat of violence would be inconceivable, and teenagers telling their mums to fuck off would have their tongues cut off ( no, never happened to me, my son still has his tongue at 19), it is this very humble day dream that revealed to me the spark of divine life within me, promoting my status to one of “living sacrifice”. I mean I thought all that other stuff had been hard, dysfunctional family, terrible marriage, and the long road of parenting alone, but it was almost like a training, a preparation for the end game.

Life doesn’t get better, it gets worse, and we all head into abyss equally reluctantly under whatever circumstances. However, Life is good, even at its worst. So I wake up realising today is good because I woke up.

Published by julia

Hi. My name is Julia, I live with a lung disability, causing all kinds of physical hurdles, and to be honest I am just trying to reach the end of each day with a sense of personal meaning and accomplishment. This blog is part of that goal, a human satellite spitting out data. I really look forward to hearing something back!

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