Keeping on keeping on

…. so I started this blog as with every new venture full of excitement and inspiration, in my minds eye I saw myself have new and insightful things to write about every week, and would end up writing a weekly column in the Sunday Supplements, and be invited onto every hip new podcast going, maybe a novel? Why not every one else seems to.

In my heart I know I have a an eight week life span for most projects, from historical analytical data, that’s eight weeks from start to finish, so I’m half way through. Maybe…

In the earlier course of life I had ideas which I would put in escrow, all for another day when I wasn’t so busy grappling with an active and full dramatic life, but now what I have is the thoughts themselves, in the cold hard light of the today, do or die, there is no more time to put things off, there are no active relationships to take up my energy.

What’s interesting about failure Elizabeth Day?

I guess this is the point at which in another life completing projects and have some results would have bolstered my self esteem. I don’t feel as if I did, although that is a clearly subjective and not necessarily true. When I muster the courage to speak these words aloud to someone I am shot down in flames with a litany very true and real accomplishments…..ummm, yeah I gave up some pretty big opportunities though, which I just cant seem to cut ties with, emotionally taunting me with their Paradise Lost-ness.

Slipping away has great allure for the difficult stage in a project. You can turn your back on it and get on with the other life, as simple as that.

However what stops that happening for lots of people is some kind of support and encouragement. I’m not talking about the outliers here people, we all know someone who thrives in what ever conditions they are in, motivated, driven….. but most of us need a network, a blueprint tested or a precedent witnessed, when things reach a certain stage of development. Or an existential crisis takes hold.

Often what stops me is a quest for perfection or “bestness” but really unveiled that’s more about not really thinking what I’ve done is good enough, or will be successful or well received.

Clearly I am a “glass half empty” kind of gal. But also maybe just a really fast thinker.

Published by julia

Hi. My name is Julia, I live with a lung disability, causing all kinds of physical hurdles, and to be honest I am just trying to reach the end of each day with a sense of personal meaning and accomplishment. This blog is part of that goal, a human satellite spitting out data. I really look forward to hearing something back!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

What's Ray Saying?

deep fried history, smothered in social commentary, served with a slice of REAL LIFE!

My Life With Gracie

Things "My Best Girl Ever" Taught Me

lifesfinewhine

Lifestyle + Food + Travel + Beauty + Mental Health + Blogging Advice

Lampelina

never learns ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Going Medieval

Medieval History, Pop Culture, Swearing

Picnic with Ants

My life disABLED with Chronic Ilnnesses, it just IS. Taking one moment at a time.

Captainforadayfoolforalifetime

A fool's blog, written by a foolish captain

EverydayVibes

Fine art, abstract art, contemporary art.

jacquiluvslife

Not another bloody poem!

It's More Than Tea

jill's tea blog

Hyatt Analysis Services

Deception detection through Statement Analysis

You Look Okay To Me

The Online Space for Chronic Illness

Simply Chronically Ill

thoughts from someone who lives it

Autoimmunitygirl

Advocating for Autoimmune fighters, their carers and supporters. - We are also on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram

Womenwithgifts.org

We are changing the world one woman at a time-#womenwithgifts

VINAZINE

Stories and advice from the Hey! VINA community to live your best life.

Lily Hamilton

Fantasy Fiction writer

%d bloggers like this: