now I have myself only to answer to I’m surprised how much has fallen away, slap dash about brushing my teeth, getting dressed, washing generally, hair now on 8 weeks, eating standards.
I feel like I’m in mourning, for the world that’s passed, nostalgic about the vibrant Ottoman empire and the Aztecs, British street food and house parties. I wonder sometimes is it because I feel my life so often close to its end and I am merely extruding my personal anxiety and sense of loss ,
or is it a reality, a cold hard data stream of systemic systematic failure, le grand homogenisation, industrialisation the good old end of days, the kali Yuga doing its thing. Does anyone about to leave this mortal coil experience a yearning for the way things were, cos of course, you know, you are in it, either potentially future wise or actually was part of it, so course it was better, no ego much.
